No, just kidding. Here is the start of the list, 1-21 (or the amount we could write before getting bored), written by none other than Polano and I. My part isn't very good though (wrote the title, and the punctuation marks in #2).
Things that are more likely than me getting a girlfriend:
- The Earth turning out to be flat.
- The earth turning out to be flat, whereas all other planets, and moons, including ours, turn out to be spherical.
- Abraham Lincoln rising from the dead, and running in the 2008 presidential election.
- Abraham Lincoln rising from the dead, running in the election, winning, and then passing legislation making black people slaves once again.
- Lost being based on a true story.
- The world spontaneously exploding.
- The world spontaneously exploding at such a speed that it reassembles seconds afterwards with everything and everyone still intact.
- French/Swiss people ever learning how to distinguish between ‘quiet’, ‘quit’ and ‘quite’.
- Japanese people ever being able to say ‘Roger Moore’ correctly.
- Elvis Presley living at area 51.
- Area 51 being a top secret military factory that produces nothing but vegetarian hot dogs.
- All the dead Jews flying down from the moon to the planet Earth in dollar-bill shaped spaceships, declaring that the Holocaust was just a joke.
- Walt Disney being Jewish.
- The sun being a very, very, large lamp.
- Losing weight from an all inclusive McDonald’s diet.
- Our english teacher having two glass eyes, and instead using his keen sense of smell to see.
- People at our school not being idiots.
- Our school receiving an award for best kept indoor swimming pool, containing at least three differently colored elephants. That don’t get along.
- You reading this and finding it amusing.
- All world governments being part of one large conspiracy, which leads up to Gandalf, from the Lord of the Rings books, being leader of our world.
- These notes getting better as they go along.
